Saint Max's Church for Mutants and Mayhem
by MissFANG-TeamGALE
Summary: Anne is making the flock attend Sunday service with her. Can you say uh-oh? Set some time in School's Out
1. Chapter 1

**All right, so since my last one-shot was such a hit (somewhat) I thought I'd give it another try. I can't think of anything else to write for **_**Bath Time For Fang!**_** Without ruining it, so just think of this as you second chapter of sorts, haha. I got this idea yesterday, while I was at church. I came up with the name shortly after, and it all sort of fell into place. The time is somewhere in the middle of the second book. Max and family haven't found out Anne was a traitor yet, so all is good…sort of. I'm thinking there will be a couple more chapters, rather than have this be a one-shot. Anyways, enjoy!**

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**Max POV:**

I was beginning to like Saturdays, while we stayed with Anne. When we were out on our own, trying to survive, we didn't even realize it was Saturday, unless we happened to find a newspaper or hear someone talking.

Here at casa de Anne, Saturdays meant sleeping in, eating a great breakfast, and just doing absolutely nothing.

Which I did…all day. It. Was. Awesome. I couldn't wait to do it again tomorrow.

Saturday nights were even better. First we ate a huge dinner. Then we did more nothing, but this time the nothing consisted of movies.

I could get used to this…if not for the fact that I am a mutant freak, who was still on the run from my worst enemies, and couldn't trust anyone.

I had just sat down at the table and began to dish a large serving of lasagna onto my plate, when Anne said "Kids, quiet down. I have something to tell you." My stomach went cold.

Last time she had something to tell us, we ended up at school, with the Headhunter.

"Make sure you go to bed at a reasonable time tonight. Now that I've gotten you settled in, it's time for me to get back with my schedule. You will all be attending church with me tomorrow."

Every bird-kid jaw dropped. I closed mine with a snap, and glanced over at Fang, who was uncharacteristically letting his shock show.

Church!?

"Anne, have you gone completely bonkers? We can't go to church!"

"And why not?" she said in a haughty voice.

"Well…I don't know. We aren't the most…uh, religious mutants."

"Nonsense. If there's ever a time to get religious, it's better now than never. You'll be fine. I went shopping today, and picked you all out something nice to where. You'll find it in your closets." She stood up from the table, and took her plate to the sink. After she had finished rinsing it, she turned around, and fixed us all with a glare.

"I expect you all to be up by eight o'clock sharp. We won't be attending Sunday school this time around. I don't want to throw you into all of it. We'll just go for the service. I expect nothing less than perfect behavior, is that understood?"

We all nodded, and she smiled. "Good. Max and Fang, it's your night for dishes. When you're finished, we'll start our movie." She left the room, leaving us alone.

Angel smiled at me, from across the table. "This is going to be fun. I've seen some churches here. They're really pretty."

I gave her weak smile. So much for my doing nothing, tomorrow.

We finished eating shortly after, and Fang and I cleared the table, as quickly as possible.

"I'll wash, you dry." He offered. I grabbed a towel, and set to work.

Fang turned the water on, and began to scrub. "I can't believe she's making us go to church." He said without looking up from the dish.

"Yeah, but don't worry. It'll be the last time she ever does."

He looked at me sideways. "Why? What are planning?"

"Nothing at all; I won't need to. Gazzy and Iggy will probably blow something up. Angel will use her freaky mind control on someone, and Nudge will probably talk someone's ear off. All we have to do is sit back and watch. Face it Fang. This flock is trouble on legs, when it comes to public outings and encounters."

"Anne is in for a rude awakening, then." Fang said.

* * *

We ended up going to bed at ten. The next morning came all too fast.

After hitting the snooze about fifty times, I finally got out of bed, and went to my closet. I opened the doors slowly, afraid of what I would find. Okay, so it wasn't too bad. Anne had picked out a pair of black dressy slacks, and a white shirt, with a small, funky looking vest. Instead of heels she had given me shiny black flats. Thank you, Anne!

I was showered, dressed, and presentable in record time. I went down to the kitchen, and found I was the last one to appear. Okay, so maybe record time wasn't so fast.

Fang looked me over, and I felt oddly uncomfortable. "You look, uh…"

"Watch it Fang." I said jabbing a finger into his shoulder.

"Pretty. I was going to say pretty."

I felt my cheeks heat up. "Oh, well, uh, thanks. You look…nice…too." And he really did. Anne had done a good job, by picking a sensible black sports coat, on top of his collared white shirt, and black pants. Nice clothes suited him well, I couldn't help thinking.

"What about me, Max?" Nudge asked, twirling in her new dress. It was long-sleeved, and a dark navy blue. She had white stockings, and navy blue Mary Jane's.

"You look great Nudge. You too Angel."

Angel looked like…well, an angel. Her white dress and white stockings seemed to make her curly blonde hair shine golden.

Iggy and Gazzy were handsome too. They were both dressed similarly to Fang.

"Oh, good, you're all ready. Let's go. I'm afraid I don't have enough Bible's, so you'll have to use the ones at the church." Anne said. She herded us out to the car, and off we went.

Anne's church, was nothing spectacular. It was big, but it wasn't extravagantly so.  
Inside, was just the same. The stained windows cast a dark, but at the same time, colorful light inside the church. There were three sets of twelve pews. Most of the left, and middle were filled. I hoped Anne snagged one in the back.

Organ music was playing, as people of all ages roamed around, greeting people, shaking hands, hugging. The light roar of voices was sort of overwhelming for those of us with acute hearing abilities. Not to mention the closed in space and close proximity of people. It was enough to make Fang and me crawl the walls.

"Max, kids, I'd like you to meet Mrs. Thelma Dyess." Anne said, as she introduced us to the woman she had been speaking with.

Thelma Dyess was old, to put it nicely. When she smiled, her face disappeared underneath her wrinkles. I couldn't tell where her eyes began, and her chin stopped.  
Still, I held my hand out, and shook the one she offered me.

"We're so glad you could join us today, Max."

I mumbled thanks, and watched her waddle off to greet someone else. Anne ushered us into an empty pew (in the back), when a man in an elaborate purple robe stepped onto the stage, and up to the dark, wooden podium. The room immediately went quiet, as everyone shuffled to find their seats. Gazzy shuffled down the pew first, then Iggy, Nudge, Angel, Fang, Me, and last, Anne. We sat quickly.

"Welcome to our services this morning. It is wonderful to see your beautiful faces, on such a glorious day."

He continued on for a couple seconds more, and then made a rising motion with his hands. Everyone stood, and my flock and I scrambled up, since we were the only ones sitting.

The organ music began, and so did the singing. Anne nudged me, and pointed to the books sitting in the slots on the back of the pew in front of us. "_Sing_," She said out of the corner of her mouth. I picked the book up, looked at hers for a page number, and flipped to it, noticing that my flock did too.

I began to sing. Badly, but at least I was singing. That was what God wanted, right?

I saw Fang's shoulder's shaking, out of the corner of my eye. I looked over at him, and he snickered. I punched his shoulder, throwing him off balance.

Anne looked over at me, glaring. I smiled innocently, and went back to singing.

Poor Anne. She had no idea, the mayhem that would surely ensue, on this little outing. Fang and I were the least of her worries.

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**So, how was it? There is more, so never fear. To those of you who did read _Bath Time For Fang! _There will not be another chapter. I'm sorry. I just couldn't think of anything, without cluttering it. But think of this as your gift, because of that. It will get funnier…I hope. I promise…I think. =) Anyway, review please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Go ahead. Say it. I'm a bad person. I've neglected my stories.  
Sorry!**

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**Max POV:**

For those of you who don't know, old men can talk…a lot. Give them a book with over a thousand pages, and you better be prepared for some major boredom.

Combine said boredom with a mind reading/controlling six year old mutant bird kid, and you've got nothing less than a disaster.

After a couple more songs (and a few more beat downs for Fang) Pastor Tim made the motion for us to sit. The room was filled a groaning and creaking, coming from the old wooden pews (which, if you have raptor hearing, is a lot louder than it normally would be).

He began his sermon, speaking in a loud voice, reminding me of my history teacher, when he lectures. As the minutes ticked by, I watched his forehead grow moist, as bullets of sweat flew off of his head. His face turned red, as he began vigorously pacing around the stage, making erratic hand motions.

I snuck a peak at my flock. Angel was sitting quietly, watching Pastor Tim, as if she were actually listening; her hands folded innocently in her lap. I wondered what she was thinking. She turned to look at me, an evil grin on her face. I wondered if she heard me think that.

Next, I peeked at Nudge. This must be torture for her, having to sit still _and_ be quiet. She was shaking her foot, a nervous twitch of hers. Iggy and Gazzy were up to no good. I could tell by the way they had their heads together, conversing, or should I say plotting, quietly. I cleared my throat loudly, to get their attention. Iggy turned in my direction, and Gazzy looked around him at me, widening his eyes innocently, the way he does when he tries to convince me he's not up to something.

_Knock it off_, I mouthed.

Gazzy sighed, defeated, and whispered to Iggy, who turned in his seat, and crossed his arms.

I looked at Fang, and felt my face flush in anger. His eyes were closed, and his head was tilting up and down, as if he were having a hard time holding it up. His breathing was slow and deep, and I knew he was asleep. I whacked him in his rock hard stomach with my arm, causing him to make an 'oof' sound, as his breath was taken away. He glared at me, and then turned his attention back to Pastor Tim.

I sighed and crossed my legs, wishing time would go faster.

I stared at a stain on the floor, thinking about how we needed to hurry up and leave Anne's, before anything disastrous happened. I let my mind wander, not really paying attention.

Suddenly, Pastor Tim began yelling at the top of his lungs. I jumped, and looked up, afraid that Erasers had somehow gotten inside for an ambush. When I realized he was just getting worked up in his sermon, I relaxed.

I heard Angel begin to cough, loudly, and looked over at her.

_Are you all right?_ I thought to her.

_Yep, I just choked on spit_.

She coughed again, but I didn't bother looking at her. I watched Pastor Tim, as he glanced at Angel. He, abruptly, stopped talking, and his eyes took on a glazed over, faraway look.

_Angel, sto…_

I hadn't even finished the thought, when Pastor Tim started jumping around the stage.

"You put your right hand in, you put your right hand out, and then you shake it all about!"

I glared at Angel, and she smiled innocently at me.

_I decided to spice his sermon up._I heard Fang laughing, and glared at him. What was with him? Never in the years that I had known him, had he ever laughed this much. Ever.

He shrugged, trying to control his laughter, but lost it all over again, when some old woman behind us yelled out 'My word!' when Pastor Tim began doing the Macarena.

_Stop this, now, Angel_.

She sighed, and just as suddenly as he had begun his weird dancing, Pastor Tim stopped. He shook his head, as if waking up, and looked around the room, at his bewildered audience.

"Erm, where was I? Oh yes…" And just like that, he began his sermon, right where he left off.

I sighed, feeling tired. This was going to be a long thirty minutes.


End file.
